Cop and little girl

A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a littlegirl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
'Nice bike,' the cop said 'Did Santa bring it to you?'
'Yep,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!'
The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for asafety violation. The cop said, 'Next year tell Santa to put areflector light on the back of it.'
The young girl looked up at the cop and said, 'Nice horse you got there,Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?'
'Yes, he sure did,' chuckled the cop.
The little girl looked up at the cop and said, 'Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top.'

No Speak English

A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto . The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.
Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts.

On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...




What were you thinking?Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English! Now get back to your emails.
I don't know about you sometimes..

FINALLY...THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on it.' The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, 'OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.'

Another Touching Email-I cried.

Swallows: Here his wife is injured and the condition is fatal.She was hit by a car as she swooped low across the road.

Here he brought her food and attended to her with love and compassion.
He brought her food again but was shocked to find her dead. He tried to move her....a rarely-seen effort for swallows!Aware that his sweetheart is dead and will never come back to him again, he cries with adoring love.

He stood beside her, saddened of her death.

Finally aware that she would never return to him, he stood beside her body with sadness and sorrow.

Millions of people cried after watching this picture in America and Europe and even in India . It is said that the photographer sold these pictures for a nominal fee to the most famous newspaper in France . All copies of that newspaper were sold out on the day these pictures were published.
And many people think animals don't have a brain or feelings?????

This Is Truly Amazing

All I can say is, "WOW". Can you believe this? Not one car stopped, I know that's hard to do, but another animal risked it's life to save that dogs life. What does that say to you? Just something to think about.

New Style in Japan?

Is this for real?

Is this to be the new rage in Japan? That's what it said in the email I received. " These are not see-through skirts". They are made with those images on them. Is this all the clothing industry can come up with? I don't know about you, but I have too much self respect to wear something that degrading. To me, it's as bad as those baggy pants, you know the ones where the crotch comes to the knees. They look as if they have a load in their diapers. And yet, grown men wear them, and think they look "cool". They should only see themselves through my eyes.

"I forward this as a public service, so you won't have a heart attack when the rage reaches here.CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???????! !!!! "

wrong email address

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a
particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel
where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their
travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida
on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his
room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he
accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without
realizing his error, and sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from
her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to
glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her
e-mail expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading
the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed
into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer
screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computer's here
now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've
just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has
been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P. S. It sure is hot down here!

I want a squirrel like this one.

I don't know how they made this video, but great job. The title to this one is, "Do sports drinks_really work". Makes me want to go out and train a squirrel.

Looking For A Wife

Hurry before he's taken.

This man is seriously advertising on one of those dating sites, for a wife. His "relationship tag", is very visible. Makes me want to be the first to claim him for my own. (yeah, right!)

Thought for the day?

Think someone is trying to tell me something?

A Husbands Revenge

This was sent to me last week, just now able to download. I bet her heart pumped her blood faster in those few minutes, than her whole life. lol